In past times we have talked about mothers who sacrifice everything so that their children can study.

Now I want to tell you that in my experience as a teacher, I have also had the opposite case that is dealing with parents who are in a way selfish, because they do not care so much about their children’s education, but that at this moment they will help you solve immediate problems.

Many times as a teacher I have found that parents of problem children do not care much about the academic performance of their children. Possibly thinking that they already have enough problems in their life and their work, so that they have to alter their daily routine because of the school problems of their children.

Generally all the students that I receive, arrive with shortages and deficiencies of previous years and for many years I have offered extra tutorials to them, free of charge and with no other purpose than to help them to prepare better in the subjects that I teach.

There are parents who thanks us and appreciate the fact that teachers are better preparing their children so they can take advantage of the future opportunities that life will give them. On the other hand, there are parents who see this as negative because their older children often take care of the younger siblings while the parents spend that time on other activities.

I’ll tell you about a problem I had years ago with a mother. Her daughter really came very ill prepared, although she was very capable. Very often I asked her to spend additional time in her studies, and she would tell me again and again that she could not do it. I called home and asked her mother to allow her to stay in extra class sessions. She was upset with me and told me that I had no right to occupy that time of her daughter, who already took away much time by forcing her to go to class. I insisted, “If your daughter does not prepare, she will not be able to finish her studies well, and she will soon drop out of school.” The mother’s response baffled me: “Do not focus on what you do not care about. It would be very good for my daughter not to go to school to take care of her brothers, and I could rest a little longer. ”

All parents are human beings, and as such we are not perfect. We all have defects and virtues; we have a mixture of selfishness, ignorance, improvisation, indifference and prejudices that affect our judgment and actions. Some children have to bear the memory of some erroneous paternal actions for the rest of their lives, which left them with resentments, traumas, grudges, fears, anguish and sadness.

There is a well-known psychological technique called “forgiveness therapy,” which psychologists use to erase the resentments their patients have toward other people. Sadly sometimes it is to their own parents, even deceased, to whom people have resentments. Let’s take care as parents not to make that mistake.

When you are parents always think about the welfare of your children. Everything you say and do, positive or negative, will really be your legacy to them.

“Anyone can have a child and call themselves a parent. A real parent is someone who puts that child above their own selfish needs and wants.”       Anonymous